Days passed by

ENTRY 100126

Salam,

Hari yang mendung sesuai dengan mood aku ketika ini. Kadang-kadang aku tak faham, atau sengaja buat-buat tak faham, tak habis-habis masalah menimpa aku. Macam yang aku dah selalu tulis, aku faham kenapa dan mengapa tapi untuk melalui proses kejadian tu memang sukar. Semester lepas memang mencabar bagi aku, macam-macam ada, haha..aku memang tak nafikan memang menggangu pelajaran aku sikit. Semester ni pun sama gak. Banyak betul pemergian insan-insan yang disayangi...

Kadang-kadang aku terfikir bila agaknya sampai masa untuk aku melalui sesuatu perkara dengan lancar? Aku selalu nasihat orang dulu, " Tak mengapa sukar di dunia tapi senang di akhirat, Rugilah orang yang bersenang-lenang di dunia tapi sukar di akhirat, tapi alangkah indahnya jika dapat nikmat dunia dan akhirat." Bila teringat balik apa yang aku selalu nasihatkan orang dulu, tenang sikit.

Ramai orang cakap aku ni nampak matang dari segi perwatakan, penampilan dan sebagainya. Aku rasa mungkin sebab ujian-ujian yang selalu ditimpakan pada aku ni, aku jadi cepat matang. Mungkin juga...

Semalam borak dengan seorang kawan. She's a nice girl, comes from a nice family. I totally adore her. Sepanjang berbual sejak kenal dia memang dapat mengagak dia datang dari sebuah keluarga yang teratur. The way she spoke to me and how she tells the story about her family make me feel nice. I wish her and her family all the best. Take care of your lil bro and sis ya !

For me, my family might not be the greatest family in the world but they are the greatest family for me. Yea, as a child i can noticed there's lack of something here and there but i know they have tried their best to provided me with everything they could and now it's time for me to fill in the empty space that they left and repay their deeds. Because i know there are some things that i need to seek for myself in order to gain knowledge. They had fulfilled their responsibility greatly.

From the time i was born and the azan and iqamat are been recited to me, it was the moment i was alive in this world. They have took care so much thing for me, sacrifices their night sleep to take care of me, whether i want to eat and wash, they are always by my side. While watching a couple of photos when i was small, i can feel the love from them. Well, surely i don't really remember because i was too small at that moment but i bet this moment was the most significant in my parent's life, right?

Then it was time for me to enter kindergarten, i was a good girl, haha...but there were times when i cry when i scared of something and when i don't want to go to class. I still remember Mr and Mrs Rajes, the best teacher ever, they really love me and i am grateful to them. She always comfort me whenever i was scared and i can still remember moments when i learned jawi, running here and there to eat with friends, brought 'bekal' and many other things.

Only a year in kindergarten but many things happened. One year is actually short if compared how many times i have been living with my parent. 19 years is not a short time. Am i still been considered as teenager? I don't know but what i know i need to start thinking how i can repay my parent.

Dulu aku selalu fikir, kalau aku dah habis belajar, dah keje, aku nak bawak mak ayah aku pergi jalan-jalan, pergi makan sedap-sedap, belikan diorg baju lawa-lawa. Nak bawak pergi melancong sampai luar negara. Sebab aku tau banyak duit diorg habiskan untuk kitrg, memang duit untuk semua tu ada tapi dibelanjakan untuk bayar yuran sekolah, baju seragam sekolah, beg sekolah dan macam-macam lagi.

Tapi bila aku dah habis belajar, mak dah pencen. Abah akan keje lagi dalam 2 tahun. Diorang dah tua, nak bawak diorg melancong jauh-jauh tapi diorg dah tak larat, nak bawak pergi makan sedap-sedap tapi selera orang dah tua dah kurang, nak belikan baju lawa-lawa untuk diorg tapi untuk apa?

Rasanya hadiah yang terbaik yang boleh aku bagi kat diorg hanyalah doa seorang anak kepada kedua ibubapa. Aku juga harap diorang boleh kekal sihat supaya dapat menunaikan rukun islam kelima. Bila aku dah keje nanti mungkin susah nak 24 jam berada di samping diorg, jadi aku berharap semoga aku akan tetap ada di samping diorg bila aku diperlukan nanti. Macam senang je bunyi kan? Entah la..

Memang best kalau sumenya berlaku dalam hidup kita ni berjalan seperti apa yang kita rancang, tapi tak semuanya macam tu. Jadi kita kena sentiasa bersedia untuk menghadapi apa saja yang mungkin akan berlaku, tak kira dalam pelajaran, keluarga, kawan, kehidupan dan sebagainya.

Life in this world is actually a preparation for the world in hereafter. Everything that we do in this world is count as part of our deeds. How we would live in the world hereafter depends on how we live in this world.

" On that Day will men proceed in companies sorted out, to be shown the deeds that they (had done). Then shall anyone who has done an atom’s weight of good, see it! And anyone who has done an atom’s weight of evil, shall see it. "

(Surah al-Zalzalah : 6-8)